Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
