he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
As shirtless as possible
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
