i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize