Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
