hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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