look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize