3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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