WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
