It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
