I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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