Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize