just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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