I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
