Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I woke up under a house in Key West
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
