So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
being pregnant is like rehab
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize