remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize