i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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