Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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