Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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