You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I understand Curling. That high.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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