It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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