so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
