You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize