Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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