Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
