just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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