the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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