I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
