If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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