this beer tastes like vomit already
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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