So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
