i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
