I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
