Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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