Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
