Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
