I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I think people are normalizing furries
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
