Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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