The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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