i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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