I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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