I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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