I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
