butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
