i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
