Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
