Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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