This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
