soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
