just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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