I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
