They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize