is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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