That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
