I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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