Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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