At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
