that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize