So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
