I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
