nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
