and my herpes radar will keep us safe
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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